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Family First, Fun, Love, Uncategorized

Empty Nesting, It’s not cool…

plantspoliticsandthelord

So, everybody keeps asking me… How is being an empty nester? It’s hard. It’s not fun. It’s all about learning. Seeing if what you did for 18 years worked. In my case it did. I look at my Son and quite frankly, I’m proud of what we did. I can hear my Dad telling me over and over how proud he is of me. How good of a job I (well, we) did raising a good boy.

As for being an empty nester. Is it weird? YES. Is it hard? YES. Is it life – YES. I’m proud that my Son is on track. Graduated from college, met the girl – that is now his wife. He has a great job; that he likes. He lives on his own. He has a cat. Life is good. But for the Mom? It’s sad-ish. I want him at my house or at least in my town. That will probably never happen. Sadly.

Like I said, he got the girl. We love her, but not seeing him on my terms? Tough. I’m no longer the woman he calls. He calls his wife. That really hits. I am getting used to it. Still hits. I do have to remember that. When I got married, that is what I did, too. Everyone was put on hold – I contacted my Husband first. Always. And still do. But, still, when you are no longer the #1; it stings. Thank God I love his wife. It would so suck, if I didn’t. She made it easier on me when they were in college. I felt like she was safe. That got me through lots of nights I was nervous. So, I’m glad she is the new #1. I mean kind-of…

They’ve been gone for a couple years now and life does go on. I read this meme on TikTok the other day, that said:

“Let’s normalize missing your kids AND loving your freedom. NOT having it all figured out after the nest is empty. Mom’s rediscovering their own dreams after raising their kids. Friendships that feel like family”. -Life After Kids | TikTok

That’s how I feel. Plain and simple. I want him here, but life happens. He is happy. I am happy about that.

Things are simpler: (Is that a word?)

  • You don’t have to rush home to make dinner – or even to have stuff to make dinner
  • You can go out to eat all week, if you choose and some weeks we do….
  • When you get home, you can just put on your jammies
  • You can chill for a whole weekend, if you choose
  • I can sleep in
  • I can watch whatever I want – instead of being asked why I am watching the same Dateline AGAIN
  • Traveling is easy – I only have to be concerned about MY schedule (it’s a lot cheaper, too…)
  • I got a cleaning lady – Why the hell did I wait so long?

Lastly, once your kid is married, people always ask if you are waiting/excited for grandbabies. That’s such a hard question. It seems like it will be such a fun life thing; but that is soooo not up to me. It’s more like, I’m enjoying their moments.

As for now, I want my Son and DIL to be happy and love their life. Be happy together. Love on their cat and enjoy their careers. Go eat at fun restaurants, travel and love eachother.

Anyway, you get it, right? It’s my new normal. And I do like spending time with my Husband. It now feels like we have each other’s back. We have time together. We really never had that before. It’s fun. I’m thankful.

I will say the one thing, as an empty nester, getting photos from my DIL is the BEST. If you know me, you know I love pictures. Here are a few she has sent me, lately…

and a video…

These make me so happy. My Son is having fun, he is in love and he is happy. Makes my heart happy.

As an empty nester – these are the photos I take now…

You know – you go grab a hydrangea, put it in a vase and try and get crafty with your camera, on your phone? Yeah, that’s me… Oh , here is one I took today – as we were closing everything up for the season…

Lastly, one thing I would like to bring up – I have taken THOUSANDS of pictures of my kid. It was never a problem. I could post, we could laugh and that was it. You bring a girl into this figure – OMG! – She has to make sure everything is okay, her face isn’t shiny she asks you to delete certain pictures; it’s a hot mess. I just wanted to share this pic of her. She was camping with her Dad this summer. THIS picture makes me happy. THIS is her! F’ing classy af. She’s pretty cool, too.

Deuces, Andrea

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Deciding To Go Gray

plantspoliticsandthelord

I mean, gray?  My “normal” hair is really brown.  Like dark brown.  Almost black.  I’ve been getting grays since my early 20’s.  I just pulled them out.  No biggy.  They went away and I moved on.  My Gramma had hair like me.  The same color of brown.  She was gray all of the years I knew her.  My Mom was early gray and so was her Brother, my Uncle – who is now white, BTW…  My Mom dyed her hair for YEARS  She hasn’t now for several years because she can’t get around and doesn’t drive.  So she went gray.  It’s weird.  I don’t really like it.  Her looks different; not just the color.  I remember when I was in College and would come home and we would be having a conversation and the random grays were like in the shape of a question marks attached to her head.  I don’t want that.  Does that happen to everyone that does gray?  Random question marks?  My Gramma didn’t have those.  Or did she?  I guess I’m not sure.

The reason why I decided to go gray is because, I am simply tired of being a slave to my hair.  I’ve been dyeing it since high school and for the last five years, it has become an issue.  Lets face it, gray does not “dye”.  I get my hair done, two weeks later (and that is a stretch) the gray is screaming at me when I look in the mirror.  Gross.  Honestly, the ONLY reason I have waited so long is because, I LOVE my hairdresser.  I have been going to her for like 15 years.  She knows A LOT about me and I could tell you a lot about her.  The thought of not meeting up with her every couple of months for a minimal two hours is just devastating.  Seriously.  She is my personal Therapist.  She gets me.  We totally understand each other.  That’s really the reason I haven’t gone gray.  I will miss that.  Now I will just be there for a hair cut.  That will probably last two hours…

But the gray…  Let’s face it, I could grow out the gray and go back.  And I may.

One thing that is weird about gray; it’s really glittery.  Really.

Anyhow, I will keep you posted.  All could change in a few months or a year.  But here’s to going gray!  Cheers!!

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Reflection

plantspoliticsandthelord

/re’flekSH(e)n/ : Serious thought OR consideration

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In this new time of the COVID 19, aka: Corona Virus, things are different.  Things have changed.  2020 became weird.  Somewhat scary.  It is really an unknown at this point.  Will things turn around?  When?  The College kiddos (including mine) are home.  The Governor just announced the other day, that all WA public schools are done for the year.  Doing somewhat of an on-line process.  What about Prom?  Graduation?  All of the money parents spent MONTHS ago with Jostens?  I feel sorry for this generation.  I feel bad for the things that were planned, that are now cancelled.  I’m thankful I still have a job.  Working from home one week, office the next.  I’m thankful, but, I miss my work “normal”.  My Work B-E-S-T-I-E-S.  I miss the normal.

It is weird having my College student home doing homework.  Talk and texting his roommates.  They are missing out on their first year of College.  You know – those FUN times that your parents don’t know about??  The girlfriend?  These kids not only need it, they should have it.  It is sad to me.

We were supposed to go to Hawaii last month.  At the very last second I said, “We need to back out…”  My Husband and Son disagreed.  It was a Thursday I suggested this; we were to fly out Saturday morning at 6am.  What we kept looking at was our flights.  They were fine.  Nothing was cancelled.  We would get online and look at where we were staying and it was still open and ready to go.  We Googled the golf course my family was to golf at.  It still said they were open.  When my Son tried to call and didn’t get through; that was the moment I put my foot down.  Yes, the flights were still on.  That was not the problem.  What we did not know was that had we gone, the place we were staying was making you stay holed up.  You would literally be stuck in your room.  All of the pools were closed and all of the chairs on the beach were brought in.  They don’t tell you this.  The golf course was closed too…  We are so glad we didn’t go.  At this point we can’t re-schedule.  I mean, who knows when this will end?? So sad.

Life changed in a flash.

I started baking.  I mean eating.  I’m not a baker.  I don’t enjoy it at all.  I love to eat the goodies though.  I just made my third batch of chocolate chip cookies.  I’ve eaten most of them.  And the dough, too.  I’ve gained my Corona 15.  Maybe 20.

The hard thing?  Watching the people around you that you love and respect, struggle.  My gym.  I’ve been there 3 years now.  I kick box.  It’s a kick-boxing gym.  I’ve gotten STRONG.  I’ve met great human beings.  We get each other.   The classes I’m missing out on.  Going in at lunch to lift.  The owner.  My Trainer.  This is his living.  His business is considered non-essential.  Why?  He does A LOT of one-on-ones.  That’s how we get strong.  We need this.  But, it’s non essential.  He still has bills to pay.  Rent.  In the gym building.  Fingers crossed he gets to open back up next month.  Next Month…?  Really?  I know there are a lot of businesses out there that are trying to figure all of this out.  I feel horrible for all included.

Doing my Bible Study with my Connection Group, via Zoom is weird.  But it is so nice to have that option.  We still need each other.

To get my butt moving I’ve picked up hiking, walking our local loop and guess what else?  I purchased Beachbody on Demand!  WTH?  Are you kidding me?  I’m truly glad there are no mirrors around when I am doing it.  I’m pretty sure I look, over the top, RIDICULOUS!  Gross.  I do get what I need.  It is fun.  It’s just not my normal.

I have to see my Therapist, via video.  (Yes, I go to a Therapist – EVERYONE should…)

There are some good things these last few months have proved:

  • I have really gotten into the Word, again.  I keep using the excuse that I “don’t have any time…”  That excuse is non existent now.
  • I have read sooooo much.  I love to read, but typically I read as I’m going to bed and conveniently fall asleep.  Not now.  Amazon has even reached out to me for a Author review.  Not bad.
  • I have blogged a lot more.  I have also read a lot of blogs that I have wanted to read for well over a year now.
  • I’m catching up on all of my podcasts.
  • I’ve cleaned all of the closets in the house!  I’m pretty proud of that one…!

Being FORCED to slow down has been nice.  In a weird, awkward way.  I really am staying in place.  Unless I am going out for a walk or a hike, I am staying home.

I miss my normal.  I wonder if normal will be back…?

 

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Slow Down. You Don’t Have A Choice. Just Do It.

plantspoliticsandthelord

iso-republic-festive-gold-and-plaid-ribbon

Corona Virus.   It’s been a weird “thing”.  My Freshman College Student (Go Eags!) is now home for Spring quarter (online only) and the summer.  He came, was supposed to be home for the summer; work, hang out with his buddies, golf, etc.  Now he’s home for 5 months.  The Mom heart is full – His??  Not so much.  You know- the GF lives 3 hours away; he had to move out of the dorm; no on-site classes, and lets face it we are boring as hell.

We were supposed to leave for Hawaii today.  We cancelled late Thursday.  We all needed a break.  It’s not going to happen.  We were worried about the flights.  Can you get this virus up in the air?  People go crazy and say YES.  My boss who is a retired Navy flight guy, did tell me that it is harder to catch this virus up in the air than we all realize.  I believe him.  He looked at the golf courses the boys wanted to go to.  They are still open.  Last minute and a family talk, we came to the decision, that enough was enough.  Super glad we did.  What we didn’t know, was the place that we were staying, closed all of their pools-they have several.  The beach is public, however, the hotel took all of their chairs and cabanas off site.  They are open, however, we would have been stuck in our room.  There literally would not be a thing to do – well, except read… (I would love that!!)  Boring!  We are truly glad of our decision.  Alaska, our airline was FABULOUS! (www.alaskaair.com)   They were kind, they refunded all of our funds and we did not have to do any re-booking at this moment.  We have a few new dates – BUT, we just don’t know when this is going to end…

For the first time EVER – we had an on-line church sermon, last Sunday.  Weird?  No, it felt right.  Next week we get a drive through Communion.  I love it AND I will be there.  My Connection Group has been texting each other like crazy.  Holding each of us up, telling us where to find TP, etc.  Prayer and grace.  That is what will get you through this.  Keep praying and keep up the grace.

It’s so sad the people that are without work.  So unexpected.  The not knowing; it’s awful.  My Husband and I are both now working from home.  And our kid is home from College.  Times are so different.  None of us really know what to do.  Just be thankful.  Tell someone how thankful you for them.

What is your new, NEW?  This is mine.

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Hiking.  It is hard.  It’s challenging.  It’s exhilarating.  It’s fun.  It’s mental.  It is where I am supposed to be.  Lost.  In the hills…

Be thankful.  Even for this unknown.

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College Life. For The Mom.

plantspoliticsandthelord

As many of you know, I have one child.  Never thought I would only have one; but that is what I got.  I love him more than life.  He is a great kiddo.

His Dad and I just dropped our Son of at college yesterday.  It was “move-in day”.  School doesn’t start for another 4 days.  Did I tell you he is my ONE and ONLY?  He is a freshman – in COLLEGE.  This is his first time LIVING away from his Mom!!  That’s ME!

It was hard.  I have so been trying to prepare myself for this for awhile.  The people around you that have experienced this tells you – “it gets better…”   Blah, blah, blah.  Duh, I’m pretty sure it … might.

Needless to say, yesterday was hard.  You want to drop your child off and be happy about it.  I was.  You want to make sure your kiddo has great people around him.  He does.  You want him to eat good things.  He has been.  You want him to feel safe.  He does.  You want him to express that this was the right move – for him.  He has.  You want him to be confident.  He is.  You don’t want him to drink.  Reality check – he will.  Duh.

We un-packed all of his goods and there was a place for everything.  He didn’t over pack or under pack.  Everything was just right.  We took him Bi-Mart shopping twice, and I think he is good.  He has two roommates.  Jordyn and Jordan.  Jordyn is his Best Friend and Jordan has been a friend of Cal’s since Kindergarten T-Ball.  It’s fun.  They all get along so well.  Three boys that are excited to be together and have this experience.

Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.  Tears were had, that is for sure.  I miss my boy so much; but college is life.  It was one of the best parts of mine.

We will see him next weekend.  I can’t wait.

Calvin (only because I know you read my blog…) – this is YOUR time Buddy.  Take those wings of yours and soar!  I cannot wait to see where you land.  I will be there!!  #goeags2023