Results? What if you don’t get them? You have waited a year and you leave with nothing. You kind-of feel like you are back to square one. It’s weird and so not what was expected.
As many of you know, after my “tumor surgery” I have to continue going to my Neurologist once a year. It’s something that I like to do. I like to just make sure all is well with me. If it is not, my Doctor and I have talked about this, I know where we would be headed. That too, is always on my mind at this appointment.
Before I get into any kind of details–I wanted to share with you my pictures:
1. This is me (obviously!) getting ready for my day. How do you like that gown?; 2. This is my favorite IV guy. I can’t give you his name, but he has been with me since day one. The only one that I truly trust plugging needles into me.; 3. Needles plugged in. Ready for my MRI. I’m not going to lie–last year, when I was filling out my paper work-you know that form that you have to check “YES” or “NO”? I remember it saying: Do you have tattooed eyeliner or lip liner? That scared me last year because I knew I was getting that done. I still remembered that. It was still on the paper work. In my mind I was like–do they really read this? Am I going to be told I can’t have an MRI now, or what? So, when my needle guy was doing his thing, I asked, “So, I noticed it on the paperwork that it asked if I have permanent eyeliner/lip liner…” He says, “Oh, no, you don’t have that do you? There will be flames coming out your eyes…” I was like, “Really…?” He says, “Of course not! Sometimes it just gets a little hot.” I had to tell the Radiologist, but guess what? Nothing. It didn’t get any hotter than anything else. I did ask what happens if your lids do get hot, they said, you just go to a machine that is not as powerful. Hmmm.; 4. This is the MRI machine. Pretty fancy, huh? My body goes into it to my knees. My Radiologist plays the best ’80’s music for me. The great thing about my situation is that I have a “TEAM”. It is all of the same people every time I come in. They know me and I know them. **It is super sad when you are waiting in Radiology and there are people around you that are so scared to have an MRI done. Being claustrophobic would be awful. I’m not, but I still do not like being confined like I am. (Ha! I did have to apologize to one of the Residents that was in on my surgery…) I have seen people scream, throw up, cry, throw things, etc. The Team’s are so good at explaining the “open” MRI, to those folks. Its still hard to see people so scared. Trust me–I have been there!!; 5. Okay, this is the dreaded scale. I hate this ridiculous machine. You ask, “Why is that thing so big…” It is for people that have wheel chairs. I just hate it. I mean who likes these?? They creep me out. I never look at it. It’s just gross. Eww.; 6. This is Chris and my “usie”. We always do them when we finally get to Neurology. We like these. We have quite a few now.; 7. Okay, have you ever noticed that all plug-in’s in a hospital are upside down? I have always wondered why. I mean clearly it is not because a contractor made a mistake at every hospital that I have been too, right? I finally Googled it, this is what I found:
Because if a cord or wire were to fall down on a partially plugged in right-side up outlet you would short out between the hot and the neutral. When the outlet is “upside down” in the above situation the wire would touch ground first.
8. This is my locker. It is the only one I will use. My favorite number is 3. That started in 5th grade because of me, Nikki and Jamie. Now it is because of Chris, Calvin and I. So, 3X3 is 9 and that makes me happy. I love the # 3; the more, the better.
Okay, as for my Results from last week:
I know a lot of you have been wondering, how did it go? Honestly, I do not know. I did not get one answer. My husband and I left literally with no information. I did not get to see my Doctor. At all. I saw someone that I had never met before. That throws everything for a loop when you are dependent on your “TEAM”. When you have an appointment in Neurology, you need to plan on being an hour to an hour an a half late to see your Doc. The reason being is that most people need answers. They are scared. They bring the entire family in. One member has a 3-Ring binder full of information that they have Googled and just need answers. I get that. I have been there. Your appointment with a Neurologist is a half hour long. Mine have always been longer. That’s why I never complain when I do not get it on time. You look around the waiting room, there are tears and people that are simply, flat scared.
This time was different. I had to be in Radiology at 9:15, I was filling out my paperwork and they literally called my name. It was that fast. Usually is. You do all of that and then you move to your next appointment. Neurology was at 12:15. Always is. We didn’t get into the appointment until 3:35. The receptionist felt so bad for us that she gave us free parking–which is actually very nice. My Doctor never came in. Either did his Assistant. Again, when you are used to your TEAM, this makes it hard and scary. Another lady came in. She was looking at my images. I’m not going to lie–Chris and I are pretty good at reading a brain MRI at this point. She told us that my Doctor was extremely busy and she would be taking care of us. We were like, okay… She says, “Wow! Your tumor is humungous.” At first I did not freak out because I could see that the first set of images that she was looking at were right before my surgery. I then say to her, “Yes, my tumor was the second largest one Dr. ___ has ever seen.” She continues on by saying, “No it is still there.” “You do know that it is wrapped around you carotid artery, right? He couldn’t get all of it.” My husband moves forward with that look–again. I had hoped I would never see that look again. Now, before you get really worried reading this–I am aware that there is tumor still there. I am aware that it is wrapped around my carotid artery. This is not new, news. However, I had never heard it in that tone. My Doctor OR his assistant would NEVER use the word HUMUNGOUS. Did that freak me out?? Yes. Bedside manner is key. She then told me that she would be making an appointment for me to come back in 6 months. Six months?? Honestly, I thought this was the appointment I was actually going to hear, I will see you in 5 years. Okay, maybe 2 years. Not 6 months. That caught me off guard. I said why? She said, “That is when your Doctor wants to see you.” In my head, I’m like, hmm that is weird, you never saw my Doc. Of course, I say, “Okay.” She left and came back with a piece of paper with my new appointment information. October. OCTOBER!! We left. We just left. It was weird. No answers.
*There was a point when Chris had put his head back to rest. I got up to go to the bathroom. I look down the hallway where we meet with my Doctor. I see him scarfing down a salad. He waves and says, Hi. Of course, I wave back. On my way back to my seat I am irritated. I am a very patient person so I was telling myself, this to shall pass. Get over it. You have to wait. I literally hear d a word from God. (Again–there is a lot of speaking to me in this hospital…) As I sat down he said, You need to wait. This may not be your timing. That hit me hard. I was kind of put in my place. I listened to that. Not all is perfect; including my situation.
“Don’t brag about tomorrow, since you don’t know what the day will bring.” – Proverbs 27:1