So, everybody keeps asking me… How is being an empty nester? It’s hard. It’s not fun. It’s all about learning. Seeing if what you did for 18 years worked. In my case it did. I look at my Son and quite frankly, I’m proud of what we did. I can hear my Dad telling me over and over how proud he is of me. How good of a job I (well, we) did raising a good boy.
As for being an empty nester. Is it weird? YES. Is it hard? YES. Is it life – YES. I’m proud that my Son is on track. Graduated from college, met the girl – that is now his wife. He has a great job; that he likes. He lives on his own. He has a cat. Life is good. But for the Mom? It’s sad-ish. I want him at my house or at least in my town. That will probably never happen. Sadly.
Like I said, he got the girl. We love her, but not seeing him on my terms? Tough. I’m no longer the woman he calls. He calls his wife. That really hits. I am getting used to it. Still hits. I do have to remember that. When I got married, that is what I did, too. Everyone was put on hold – I contacted my Husband first. Always. And still do. But, still, when you are no longer the #1; it stings. Thank God I love his wife. It would so suck, if I didn’t. She made it easier on me when they were in college. I felt like she was safe. That got me through lots of nights I was nervous. So, I’m glad she is the new #1. I mean kind-of…
They’ve been gone for a couple years now and life does go on. I read this meme on TikTok the other day, that said:
“Let’s normalize missing your kids AND loving your freedom. NOT having it all figured out after the nest is empty. Mom’s rediscovering their own dreams after raising their kids. Friendships that feel like family”. -Life After Kids | TikTok
That’s how I feel. Plain and simple. I want him here, but life happens. He is happy. I am happy about that.
Things are simpler: (Is that a word?)
- You don’t have to rush home to make dinner – or even to have stuff to make dinner
- You can go out to eat all week, if you choose and some weeks we do….
- When you get home, you can just put on your jammies
- You can chill for a whole weekend, if you choose
- I can sleep in
- I can watch whatever I want – instead of being asked why I am watching the same Dateline AGAIN
- Traveling is easy – I only have to be concerned about MY schedule (it’s a lot cheaper, too…)
- I got a cleaning lady – Why the hell did I wait so long?
Lastly, once your kid is married, people always ask if you are waiting/excited for grandbabies. That’s such a hard question. It seems like it will be such a fun life thing; but that is soooo not up to me. It’s more like, I’m enjoying their moments.
As for now, I want my Son and DIL to be happy and love their life. Be happy together. Love on their cat and enjoy their careers. Go eat at fun restaurants, travel and love eachother.
Anyway, you get it, right? It’s my new normal. And I do like spending time with my Husband. It now feels like we have each other’s back. We have time together. We really never had that before. It’s fun. I’m thankful.
I will say the one thing, as an empty nester, getting photos from my DIL is the BEST. If you know me, you know I love pictures. Here are a few she has sent me, lately…
and a video…
These make me so happy. My Son is having fun, he is in love and he is happy. Makes my heart happy.
As an empty nester – these are the photos I take now…
You know – you go grab a hydrangea, put it in a vase and try and get crafty with your camera, on your phone? Yeah, that’s me… Oh , here is one I took today – as we were closing everything up for the season…
Lastly, one thing I would like to bring up – I have taken THOUSANDS of pictures of my kid. It was never a problem. I could post, we could laugh and that was it. You bring a girl into this figure – OMG! – She has to make sure everything is okay, her face isn’t shiny she asks you to delete certain pictures; it’s a hot mess. I just wanted to share this pic of her. She was camping with her Dad this summer. THIS picture makes me happy. THIS is her! F’ing classy af. She’s pretty cool, too.
Deuces, Andrea
Like.Share.Post.
Plants, Politics & The Lord 